With 6am on the 17th of
November, 2013 came the dawn of a fresh new international sojourn. Destination?
Japan. Why the hell are we going to Japan? Good question. It’s Siegmund’s
fault. Siegmund and Saika decided they wanted to get married. They also decided
they wanted to get married in Osaka. As Shan and I were told our attendance was
‘non-optional’, we packed our stuff into a variety of differently sized bags
and headed for Coolangatta airport. What fresh hell awaited us inside the
terminal? You’re about to find out.
Jetstar is a joke, and if you have
the opportunity to fly on another airline for a comparable fee, you should
definitely take it. They love for you to check-in online at home 48 hours
before you arrive at the airport, but God only knows why. They had two check-in
desks open, and no bag drop. So, despite
the fact we’d already checked in, we still had to wait in line for 45 minutes
while they attempted to process the hoardes of Japanese group tourists who ‘group
checked in’ before us. For some reason, they made us go through two separate
airport security checks. I am fairly sure that I must look like a cliché drug
mule, and they must use my photograph when training rookie customs officers in
“what to look for”, because I get randomly selected for additional screening
whenever the opportunity arises. Reminded me of that Family Guy episode.
After passing through the second
screening area, we realised that there was a limited array of breakfast options
– there was one overpriced café and a newsagent. We opted for café. It was average. Now then,
whinge (largely) over. The flight itself was relatively uneventful; no
screaming babies, and the seat in front of me didn’t decide to shove his
headrest into my groin within a microsecond of the seatbelt light being
switched off. I’ve not landed at Narita airport before, but the
landing/customs/baggage collection process was incredibly seamless – top marks,
Narita. We then easily found our way to the NEX (Narita Express) train, and
headed into Tokyo. The train itself took about 45 minutes to get from the
airport to the centre of town. Navigating our way to the correct exit at Tokyo
station, on the other hand, took considerably longer. Around 800,000 people
pass through Tokyo station daily, so it was a bit of a shitfight. We eventually
found Yaesu North exit, and walked to our hotel – Ryumeikan – five minutes away
from the station.
The hotel itself is magnificent –
in the room, the bathroom is probably the highlight. It has a rain shower and a
Japanese bidet toilet which knows when you want to use it – it freaks Shannon
out; she doesn’t like that the toilet gets excited whenever someone walks past.
On our first full day in Tokyo we
headed to the Tokyo Skytree, the tallest structure in the city, to take a look
at the landscape. We queued as the twelve staff in the ticket office all sat at
their computer terminals half an hour before opening and smiled at the crowd.
Then, at one minute to eight, they all stood, bowed in unison, and opened the
gates. We got into a speedy lift, and within a few seconds we were 450 meters
in the air.
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| Not our photo. |
Tokyo Skytree itself is the tallest
tower in the world, and gives a nice view of the city, however there was a bit
of light cloud cover over Tokyo on the morning we went, so we couldn’t see
anything past the city limits. We spent a bit of time walking around and
looking at the city from different angles, before descending and heading to
Asakusa. There, we checked out some random tourist trap shops, and went to the
Senso-ji temple. At the front of the temple is an incense burner which spews
out smoke – the idea is that you ‘rub’ the smoke on the part of you which needs
healing. I rubbed the smoke on my head. Shan rubbed it on her sore shoulder,
and remarked that it actually made it feel a bit better (though she suspects
this was due to the heat, and not due to the miracle powers of hot incense).
After visiting the temple, we
walked to the nearby Kappabashi-Dori. Here, the street caters to the restaurant
industry – selling cutlery, furniture, appliances, decorations, and fake plastic
food for shopfront windows. We (and by we, I mean I) came with the intention of
buying lots of fake plastic food for a laugh. It was incredibly expensive, so
no laughs were had that day.
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| Mmm... tasty plastics. |
We then caught the subway to
Akihabara - Tokyo Electric Town – the part of Tokyo which sells every
electronic device known to man. We visited a couple of the huge shops –
Yodobashi Camera and Sofmap (Bic Camera), and a few of the smaller shops which
cater to the Otaku / Anime / Manga crowd (Mandarake, etc). Completely
overwhelming. The Japanese abuse colour like the toner on their printer is just
about to run out and they want to get their money’s worth. The prices weren’t
that competitive, though – roughly about the same as what you would pay in
Australia.
After Akihabara, we went to
Koishikawa Korakuen –a huge garden in the middle of all the congestion of the
city. We went to check out the autumn colours and to take a few photographs. It
really was beautiful – and entirely necessary, as Tokyo is a bit of a concrete
jungle where dreams are made of. Gardens like Korakuen are like lungs for the
city.
When it was getting dark, we headed
for a quick trip into Shibuya to visit the Disney Store (where we purchased our
Disneyland tickets) and had dinner at Gonpachi, a restaurant I went to the last
time I was in Tokyo, which was pretty incredible. It didn’t disappoint! The
view over Shibuya was pretty epic, too.
On Tuesday the 19th, we started
the day at the Tsukiji Fish Market. Without being melodramatic, we both nearly
got killed. The fish mongers drive these electric pallet jack type vehicles at
the speed of sound around the complex, without any regard for the bodily safety
of others. Once we’d navigated the minefield of fish mongers, we headed inside
to the inner wholesale market. I thought it was pretty amazing – the Tsukiji
Market sells more fish daily than any other market in the world, and the
variety was enormous. Shannon thought it was hell on earth – she no like the
seafood. We both guessed that it would
probably be possible to acquire some whale at Tsukiji if you were a) a moron
who eats whale, and b) knew who to talk to.
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| We stole this photo from someone else's blog. |
After Tsukiji, we left Tokyo bound
for Kamakura and Hase, where a giant Daibutsu (outdoor seated Buddha) was waiting to be entered –
literally – we went inside it.
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| The guy on the right tried his best to get out of my shot. Lawl. |
At Daibutsu, we were approached by an elderly Japanese man who
introduced himself and told us he was looking for foreigners to be “pen pals”
with him – he gave us a letter which he had written on cardboard and had
decorated with pictures, explaining where he lived and a little about his
hobbies. He said he would love it if we would write to him once we got home.
After we left, we turned back to see him approaching another gaijin
(foreigner), withdrawing another letter from a bag which he had prepared
earlier. Good on him!
On Tuesday, we also visited the
Tsurugaoka Temple which was nice. There was quite a few children who were
dressed in kimono who we saw leaving the temple after some kind of ceremony.
Super cute. Note the authentic Japanese Edo era footwear.
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| Croc-San |
After leaving Kamakura, we went to
Yokohama, and visited Queen’s Plaza (i.e. the Pokemon centre, which was
amazing) and the Red Brick Warehouses, which sold a variety of random stuff for
the discerning shopper – from confectionary to small gifts and clothes.
Definitely worth a visit.
Wednesday the 20th was
all about Tokyo-Disneylando. In Tokyo, Disney decided to build two theme parks
next to each other. We had originally planned on going one full day to
Disneyland, and one half day to Disneysea. However, the more we looked into it,
the more we realised we didn’t really want to pay for a full day at Disneysea
and only go for half a day. So, we shifted our schedule around a bit and went
one full day to Disneyland (Wednesday) and one full day to Disneysea
(Thursday).
I’ve learned many things so far on
this trip. No lesson has been clearer to me than this: nothing annoys the crap
out of Shannon more than people skipping a queue. We arrived at Disneyland an
hour before opening – 7:30am – because we didn’t want to spend the entire
morning waiting in lines for rides. There were maybe 20 or 30 people in line in
front of us. The Japanese love queuing for things – trains, for example – but
something they love more is when their friends queue for them, so they can jump
into the queue at the last minute. Maybe 450 people (conservative estimate)
magically found their friends in the line in front of us before the park
opened. Sneaky bastards.
Shan was raging.
When the gates opened, everyone
sprinted in. It was a Japanese Stampede. A Jampede. Despite the hundreds of
staff with their hands up saying what I can only imagine was “slow down, don’t
run” in Japanese, nobody was listening – everyone was pinning it to their first
ride of choice. We ran to Monsters Inc. “Ride and Go Seek” which I’d read was
quite popular, so we wanted to be sure we could minimize our waiting time. The
ride itself puts you in a car and takes you through the Monsters Inc. factory,
gives you a torch, and wants you to shine a light on the hidden monsters which
makes them ‘pop out’ – sounds lame, but it was okay. However, the ride broke
before the end, and so we were stuck in a car in the last room with “Boo”, the
small child from the film, smiling at us – super creepy.
At Tokyo Disneyland, you don’t have
to wait in all the lines every time you want to ride something. You have the
option of “Fast Passing” certain rides – i.e. you go to the ride of your
choice, scan your park ticket, and the machine will print out a ride-specific
ticket for you, telling you to come back at x o’clock when you can skip the
queue. Sounds fantastic, but they only let you have one fast pass at a time,
and you have to wait an hour or two after getting a fast pass before you can
get another. So, after riding Monsters Inc., we ran over to Space Mountain, got
a fast pass for it, and went to line up for Pooh’s Hunny Hunt – obviously a
kids ride, where you sit in a “Hunny” pot and get driven around a Pooh-themed
foreset, but it was still pretty interesting. We came back to Space Mountain –
a roller coaster set in ‘space’, and it was legendary. Other rides we did
included Splash Mountain, Big Thunder Mountain, Buzz’s Astro Blasters, and
others.
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| Mr Incredible, Shannon, and some guy in a red suit. |
Throughout the day, Disneyland puts
on a few different parades where the characters come out and dance on floats –
the Japanese people LOVE that shit. They were sitting down waiting for the
parades 2-3 hours before they started! We watched a few of the parades, however
Snow White looked nowhere NEAR as legit as when I was last in Japan.
On Thursday 21st, we
went to Disneysea. We had planned on doing the following rides: Journey to the
Centre of the Earth, Indiana Jones Crystal Skull, Raging Spirits, Toy Story
Mania, Aquatopia, and a few others, however Toy Story Mania didn’t happen.
Within ten minutes of the park opening, the Toy Story fast pass allocation was
exhausted – the whole street where the ride was located was packed full of
Japanese people sardine-style, and the ride was already up to a three hour
standby time. So, we instead went twice
on the other rides we wanted to do. Shan also wanted to do the Tower of Terror,
this God awful ride where you go into the top of a tower, sit on a chair with a
bunch of other people around you, and suddenly the floor disappears from
underneath you and you drop, but I was –not- keen for that, so I gave Shan my
fast pass so she could ride it twice. I’m standing by my rationale for not
riding it because I have back problems, but Shan isn’t falling for my thinly
veiled attempt at disguising the fact that I hate / fear ‘drop’ type rides.
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| Shan looking clearly terrified. |
We finished up Thursday with the
spectacular “Fantasmic” show on the harbour at Disneysea. Definitely worth the
wait. Photos don't do it justice.
